Jason

The kids and I were leaving Walmart tonight, We had tried to get Shrek McFlurries from McDonalds but the ice cream machine was not working. We were headed to the drive thru at the other McDonalds in the same parking lot. As we headed to the vehicle, a teenage boy approached me and asked for a quarter. I immediately said no without even thinking. He walked away sullenly and continued to approach others in the increasing darkening parking lot.  Immediately I wondered why I would say no. I don’t give money to street people but I don’t generally dismiss them either.  Taylor assumed he needed a quarter for the phone and when we reached the vehicle he went and found one and wanted to give it to him. I knew he didn’t need the quarter for the phone.

We got in our truck and wove through the parking lot to find the boy.  When we saw him I rolled down the window and asked, “Hey buddy, why do you need a quarter?”

“I’m just trying to get enough to eat,” was his reply.

I told him to walk over to the McDonalds and I would buy him something to eat.

“Really?” came his shocked response.

I drove, he walked and we met at the front doors of the restaurant. I bought him his supper and mcflurries for the kids. As we stood there and waited for the food. We chatted.

“When was the last time you ate?” I asked.

“Yesterday,” his timid response.

“Where is your family?”

“Regina. It is not a good scene, allot of addictions.”

“How did you get here? How come you are in PA?”

“I was living with my aunt. But there were allot of parties and people sleeping over. They would sleep in my room. And I would have to sleep on the couch. But there was usually someone on the couch.”

“How old are you?”

“17…well almost.”

“Do you have a place to sleep?”

“Yea, I have been couch surfing.”

“Is there a shelter you can go to?”

“Yea, well the shelter didn’t work. There was a drunk old man I had to share with. I told him to take a shower and he wouldn’t. We fought and we both got kicked out.”

“What about Social Services?” I inquired some more not knowing what else I could do for him.

“I tried that. It didn’t work. People don’t get along with me.”

Then he got his food and I got the ice cream. He said to me nearing the end of the conversation. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. God Bless You.”

“What’s your name?”

He hesitated, “Jason.”

“Nice to meet you Jason.” as I extended my hand to him. “I’m Peggy.”

We walked out of the restaurant all the while I wished I could bring him home with me. I wanted to let him have a hot shower and a safe bed to sleep in. A bed where he would not be abused because I am sure that is problably what has chased him away from his other homes. I wanted to step out in faith but I couldn’t risk my own children. I wish I could have. I really wish I could have.

So we parted then. He repeated his statement. “I appreciate this so much. God Bless YOU.”

All I could say as he walked away “Keep yourself safe. Keep yourself warm.”

I got into the vehicle then. I had been praying for an opportunity for my overindulged children (especially the oldest) to see how fortunate they are. God answered that prayer. Taylor was quiet. He expressed how badly he felt for this boy. I told him he hadn’t eaten since yesterday. I told him his name was Jason.

As he went to bed I reminded him to say his prayers. I once again told him his name is Jason.

God has blessed me. I was privileged to hear a silent call and answer it. I was able to see the sensitivity of my spoiled boy. Perhaps the next time he says he needs a golf club or baseball he will remember Jason, who probably has never had either of those things and is lucky to eat on a daily basis let alone play sports.

When you say your prayers tonight, will you say one for Jason. May God keep him safe and warm.

Gateway Covenant…You Made My Dad Cry Today

Today my dad went to church. It is something he does every Sunday. He has gone to the same church for the last 30+ years.  He has cried many tears for that church. Most of those tears have not been for anyone but God to see.

I didn’t go to church with my folks today.  I went elsewhere and when I stopped at their place after church, Dad told me his experience of church today. Today some folks got up and spoke of their experience working in the soup kitchen yesterday. I don’t know everyone who did but what they said brought tears to my dad’s eyes as he recounted to me how those people experienced what he has experienced countless times. Stories of people serving others. Serving those we would normally not associate with, and perhaps some of them if we were walking down the street might cause us to hold our children closer to us or look the other way. But the message my dad heard today was that in serving these people in the soup kitchen members of Gateway Covenant understood that these people were people just like them. People with loves, hurts, desires, fears, joys and sin. People just like us. People that need Jesus…just like us.

It was something my dad has been unable to see in some of his congregation. For many years my dad has felt like others in this church can be focused on themselves or their children, or their jobs, or their houses and yards or the church building or who is getting to make the decisions. It isn’t often that my dad has felt like he has seen the love and compassion he saw in his fellow members like he did today. And that made my dad cry.

And then if that was not enough, Randall spoke today from Job. Again, I wasn’t there I don’t know exactly what was said but Job is a favorite of my dads and today he said Randall gave him a new perspective on Job. Something more for him to think about.

Today I am pretty sure God was there at church with my dad. And for that I am thankful. And I am thankful that in this church that my dad loves so much that he was able to see Him in the faces around him.

I’m Struggling….

I have this inner struggle going on in my head and my heart.

When things go “wrong” in my life, I tend to think that God is holding me accountable for something I have done.  I honestly don’t know which is the correct way to view the struggles in my life.

Is it God teaching me some very hard lessons, is it His retribution or consequence for me being disobedient or sinning or does God not work that way at all?

Is it just sometimes life just sucks and if that is the case why is it that I feel so far from God when I know He is there and cares about it all?

And whatever the answer to those questions are,  what do I do with it all?  How do I keep from letting my life spin completely out of control?

Saturday Evening

It is Saturday evening here in our little Herd house. We are almost through the last tournament of the year and then hockey is over for another season. The boys will still have some practices as long as the ice is in the rink but the grueling pressure of organizing games and all that is done. Mykayla is winding down in skating as well except that she will have the opportunity to do a few weeks of Spring School.  The boys have a couple hockey schools in Saskatoon lined up and we want to get Myk into Summer Skate in Saskatoon on the weeks that the boys go to hockey school.

Taylor’s team is full of drama again but it did make for some exciting hockey. We won our first game last night 11-4. This afternoon they played a team from Cold Lake (where there is no hitting in this division.) It was a rough game. I stood at the end of the arena watching and saw one goal scored that should have had the whistle blown as the team kept digging the puck out from underneath Taylor.  Then Taylor actually received his first penalty ever. He caught the puck in his pads and one of the players from the other team punched him in the head. The player then got knocked down after the whistle blew but he continued to kick Taylor in the face and chest. Taylor, in what seemed a defensive move to me tried to push his skates away and one of his buddies from his team went after the player. The end result was the Taylor got a 3 minute major for roughing, and the other two boys got 3 minute majors as well. I was told later that the player from the other team should have been ejected as he was kicking but I guess the ref didn’t see it that way just like he didn’t see that what Taylor was doing was protecting himself. Then not even 5 minutes after that one of the players held Taylor down with his stick as another player came up and scored a goal. I guess the ref didn’t see that one either.

Well they placed 2 in their pool of three and went into the play off game tonight. I missed the game as Noah is not feeling well but they were up 3-0 then down 4-3 and then tied 4-4 with 1 minute left in the game. About three minutes into the overtime period they managed a goal and took the game. So now when I thought we would be able to go to church in the morning we will be watching yet another hockey game.

The stresses of the week are coming to a close. They are still there but life moves on and as we go through everyday we begin to plan and rationalize and strategize on how best to handle them. I hate being ruled by finances and that seems to be where our life is at right now. I feel like it just takes away so much from the task of living life and it is such a waste of time to worry about those things. But that is what we do.

And in the midst of it I know God is there somewhere. I struggle finding the words to say to Him. I know He is listening and when words escape me I just hope He has the patience to read between the lines.

On the positive I mentioned briefly that the kids had awesome report cards. And they really did. All three of them had consistent A’s and B’s with Taylor and Myk averaging in the A and Noah somewhere around B+. This has likely been their best report cards yet and so for that we are thankful that they are adjusting and learning and growing.

Well that is about it from here.  To those of you in NWT, Alberta, BC and everywhere else but SK have a Happy Daylight Savings.

Distracted

I should be cleaning the house. I am trying. I have the laundry going and am straightening up here and there. But I am distracted.

It is an incredibly stressful time right now. I hope that I am handling it okay but really all you can do is muddle through and hope you get to the end of it.

We are still trying to decide what to do with the house in Yellowknife. It is becoming more and more a feeling that we should try and sell it again. It was never something we wanted to hold onto for long and after only a few short months I think we are feeling like we definitely do not want to be landlords longterm. It is hard to feel like we do not have much control in that situation but we would be the ones who feel the most impact. We are trying to leave that with God and He will open the door and gives us the direction we should follow.

But all that stress aside my real concern today is with my brother. This is going to be a difficult day for him. And just to kick him when he is down, his soon to be ex-wife is now trying another legal maneuver to get yet more money that he doesn’t have. That will be addressed tomorrow. Because of my involvement with him it adds more work for me as well. I know that it all can be dealt with but it will be emotionally hard work because at the same time I am always worried about his well being. The road ahead of him continues to be long and hard and still alot of unknowns. I know I am being very vague but really it is highly sensitive and I must do what I can to keep it confidential. But I ask for your prayers for him. Myk brought home some homework last night from religion and many of the questions had to deal with God’s peace in conflict. I guess that is my hope for my brother and my family and for me. I hope that we can feel God’s peace now and in the days and months ahead.

So today when I should be excited for the hubster is on his way home and the kids had excellent report cards yesterday, I am just a little distracted.

The Jesus Family Tomb

Saw an interview about this today on the Today Show. I have to say that on many levels this scares me and intrigues me. The scary part is just that traditional Christian view that Jesus never married, he never had children is being brought into question but above that I just can’t wrap my head around a view that allows for a second resurrection and the possibility that there wasn’t a physical Ascension. What intrugues me is that I have experienced too much in my life to discount anything with absolutes. We spoke about this in small group a while back. If any of this becomes proven fact, how would this change or would this change your faith in Christ and in God? I certainly don’t buy into any or all of these theories but I also think it is important to be willing to hear those theories before judging them. What do you think?

Today Show Interview with James Cameron and Simcha Jacobovici.

EDIT: Thanks for the comments from the whole two of you who read this blog. Marc, Thanks for this link to Ben Witherington. This fellow has way more knowledge about this whole process and was exactly what I was looking for in terms of facts to dispute what Cameron and Jacobovici had to say. Their argument was that yes those were common names for the day but when you  link them all together and do some statistical work you get a 2 million to 1 chance of it being the tomb of Jesus. Dr. Witherington and those who commented on his post offer some more insight into what all those statistics really mean.

For me I wonder if finding out Jesus was married and had a son if that were to enough to shake my faith. Of course my question would be to ask if he did have a child why was there never a mention of the child anywhere in documented history even aside from the Bible? The thing that would cause me to question what I have built my faith on is the idea of a second resurrection and a non physical ascension which these two men assert as a way to dilute and explain the story they are trying to push as fact.  I really encourage anyone who is interested in this to read the stuff on the Jesus Tomb and on Dr. Witherington’s site. It is a good thing as Christians to have some knowledge of stuff like this to affirm what we believe in and to be able to explain our beliefs to others who are interested in arguing the other side.

Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday and the Beginning of Lent

So yesterday was Shrove Tuesday. Been a Christian a long time but I have never celebrated Shrove Tuesday. This year my kids are in Catholic School. The tradition apparently is to have a Pancake Breakfast at school. This year was no different. So at 7:10 my husband dropped me off at the school to help the principal, the vice-principal and several other moms make pancakes and sausages.

With this new experience, I decided to think more about Lent. Yesterday Trev and I decided that this year we would give up something and encourage the kids to give up something as well. I joked with my sister that perhaps I could give up sex but then I didn’t think Trev would agree. To my surprise he did but alas that is not what we chose. I have decided to give up chocolate and Trev will give up Coke (a-cola.) When I talked to the kids about it after school Taylor right away decided he would give up Pop. Mykayla chose candy and Noah chose PSP. Mykayla changed her tune later when she realized that candy included the Happy Feet chews I bought the other day. She has now decided on pop as well. For Taylor and Mykayla this isn’t a huge stretch since they are not allowed alot of pop anyway. Noah on the other hand loves I mean LOVES his PSP and with Taylor’s hockey tournament happening this weekend this will be a bigger sacrifice. We of course are taking Sundays off so we will see how it goes for the next 40 days.

Today being Ash Wednesday I went to Catholic Mass as the kids were going from school. Mykayla’s class was doing the service so not only did she have a small speaking part at the beginning of the service, she also sang right into the microphone and was one of the loudest voices out there (Go Figure.) It was great for the kids to be there to here Father Matthew speak about Lent and why we celebrate it. It has always been something on the church calendar that I just sort of skimmed over and never paid much attention to it. Today it started to click for me.  Forty days of Lent. Forty days of Jesus in the desert. Forty days of giving up one thing of value to me. Forty days of fasting for Jesus. Forty days of being tempted by chocolate. Forty days of being tested. Finally at the end a celebration of overcoming Death.

I am looking forward to learning more about this Season of Lent in the next forty days. I am looking forward to learning with my children. I am looking forward to this journey. I am looking forward to celebrating Easter.

Have You Hugged Your Pastor’s Wife Today?

Saw this and said a prayer for Lauralea, Lisa and Lisa.

You are appreciated.

via

Sometimes It Is Hard to Understand Why?

I guess I am a bit like Dixie. I love to read pregnancy blogs. Sometimes I even go back in the archives of people’s blog I come across and spend hours reading different accounts of their pregnancies and birthing experiences.

Today I came across 2 different blog posts that told of the harsh realities of life. Two different sets of parents, both from Saskatoon. Sometimes what we hope and dream for our children and babies to be are not what God has planned. Though I do not know these people I still cry with them today. I also stand in awe of these parent’s courage and their faithfulness to continue to trust God’s plan.

via

Feeling Petty

Sometimes I feel very petty for my anxieties. They seem to come from a very selfish part of my life.

I look around me and think that my problems are insurmountable and so much would be solved if the house would sell. Logically I know that isn’t the case but emotionally that is what goes through my mind all the time.

Then I look around. When I look outside myself I am so ashamed of myself. I see someone who is possibly facing an extended amount of time in jail. His family taken away from him for the last two years. I see someone who has just lost his father to a long term illness. I see a woman fighting cancer for the last several years. I see a couple having to say goodbye to their teenage daughter at the site of a car accident. Something no parent should have to go through. I see a friend fighting for custody of her children against a man who deserted her, poisoned her children against her and before she could even leave the house her husband kicked her out of, he has taken up with another woman and making a point of displaying that relationship in front of her at each chance he gets.

My problems seem huge to me. They seem to affect every aspect of my life in this moment. But at the heart of my anxiety it is all about money. It is about finances and I hate it. I hate that this evil, this crutch is what is taking me away from what God wants me to learn.

Dear Father,
I am so sorry for allowing this idol to consume my life. I never wanted it to. I want to relinquish it all to You. I dedicate this house and everything in it to You. I dedicate my heart to You. I am sorry for waiting for this house to sell before truly walking in Faith with You. Help me to enjoy my life as Your child.
Forgive me.
Be with those around me who are facing life’s challenges with grace. Comfort them when they feel alone. Give them peace when they are hurting. Forgive them when grace escapes them.
Amen